Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Patient's Guide to Pharmacy Etiquette

A Patient’s Guide to Pharmacy Etiquette:





1. Be sure to stare at the pharmacist while your prescriptions are being filled. Staring makes them work faster.

2. Never remember the name of the medication you want filled. By calling it “the little white pill” you are sure to receive the correct medication.

3. When calling in 8 or more prescriptions, always arrive at the pharmacy to pick them up within 10 minutes. It is ok to hurry the pharmacist. If they make a mistake, it won’t kill you or anything. It is strongly encouraged to call them in on your cell phone while waiting in the drive through.

4. Instead of calling your insurance company, who sets the price, feel free to ask for the exact price of your prescription before it is filled. After all, the staff should know the copay of every drug, for every person’s individual plan.

5. Always ask how long it will take to be filled. If you’re lucky, you will get it free if it is not ready in 15 minutes or less. Also, be sure to ask if the prescription is ready every 5 minutes, because the pharmacist often keeps them after they are ready just to piss you off.

6. Be sure to complain about the copay. The copay is set on the whim of the pharmacist and has nothing to do with the insurance company you chose.

7. It is not necessary to present your insurance card or even know the name of the company. Pharmacists are psychic and know everyone’s insurance.

8. Upon requesting a refill for a maintenance medication with no refills, always question why the doctor has to be called when you’ve taken the same medication for years. It is only a myth that prescription medications have to be ordered by a physician. The pharmacist usually doesn’t fill prescriptions just to piss you off. NOT filling prescriptions is good for business, after all.

9. Always question why the insurance company is so concerned with you getting your medication ten days too soon. After all, you’re only paying $5.00 for it and that’s all it costs.

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