A
Patient’s Guide to Pharmacy Etiquette:
1.
Be
sure to stare at the pharmacist while your prescriptions are being filled. Staring makes them work faster.
2.
Never
remember the name of the medication you want filled. By calling it “the little white pill” you are
sure to receive the correct medication.
3.
When
calling in 8 or more prescriptions, always arrive at the pharmacy to pick them
up within 10 minutes. It is ok to hurry
the pharmacist. If they make a mistake,
it won’t kill you or anything. It is
strongly encouraged to call them in on your cell phone while waiting in the
drive through.
4.
Instead
of calling your insurance company, who sets the price, feel free to ask for the
exact price of your prescription before it is filled. After all, the staff should know the copay of
every drug, for every person’s individual plan.
5.
Always
ask how long it will take to be filled.
If you’re lucky, you will get it free if it is not ready in 15 minutes or
less. Also, be sure to ask if the
prescription is ready every 5 minutes, because the pharmacist often keeps them
after they are ready just to piss you off.
6.
Be
sure to complain about the copay. The
copay is set on the whim of the pharmacist and has nothing to do with the
insurance company you chose.
7.
It
is not necessary to present your insurance card or even know the name of the
company. Pharmacists are psychic and
know everyone’s insurance.
8.
Upon
requesting a refill for a maintenance medication with no refills, always
question why the doctor has to be called when you’ve taken the same medication
for years. It is only a myth that
prescription medications have to be ordered by a physician. The pharmacist usually doesn’t fill
prescriptions just to piss you off. NOT
filling prescriptions is good for business, after all.
9.
Always
question why the insurance company is so concerned with you getting your
medication ten days too soon. After all,
you’re only paying $5.00 for it and that’s all it costs.
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